fare thee well, hip huggers

Fashion

fare thee well, hip huggers

April 23, 2016
keep calm and iron on
festival wear (a.k.a. ish you don't need)

For the last several months my denim rotation has alternated between the dark washed, high-rise skinnies of winter and the light washed, long-waisted vintage Levi’s of spring (“mom jeans”). The crack grazing low-riders of yesteryear are simply no longer part of the equation, and even my 2014-2015 devotion to mid-rise isn’t a thing anymore.

When the ten-inch zipper first began to make a comeback I remember thinking what a fantastic idea it was…for supermodels. Like many actual women, I loved my hip-huggers and had no real intentions of giving them up.

Enter the crop top.

My evolution to higher rises began when the crop top experienced a massive renaissance. Because of the basic laws of fashion composition, I was not about to wear a short shirt with low-rise jeans. So much of outfit selection is about visual weight and dimension, and as the shirt hem goes up, the corresponding waistband should ascend accordingly. Sexy is not the goal of the crop, and therefore six inches of stomach exposure was not going to happen. Plus I’m an adult, so there’s that, too.

And so, in order to partake in the shrinking shirt trend, I was forced to participate in the high-rise pant trend. I was simply given no choice.

But guess what I decided.  High-rise jeans are really flattering even on regular chicks! Just like a properly fitted A-line skirt, they accentuate the waist and elongate the legs. In the oft spoken words of Ina Garten, “How bad can that be?” Combine a high rise with a ground grazing pair of flares and platform heels, and you literally begin to look like an avatar (but, you know, in a good way).  Additionally – bonus! — they entirely eliminate peek-a-boo panties and regrettable tramp stamps, as well as the dreaded muffin-top.

Get a flared version:

High Waisted Flares

 

Or a mom-inspired pair (extra credit for pegged cuffs):

High Waisted Mom Jeans

 

Or a wide-leg version:

High Waisted Wide Leg Denim

 

Or shorts:

High Waisted Shorts

 

Or even a bikini:

High Waisted Bikini

 

Short or tall or curvy or small, the high rise is a trend that flatters many body types, and thank goodness, because it’s going nowhere fast. In the oft spoken words of Oscar Isaac, “Fare thee well, [hip huggers], fare thee well.”

Take all the time you need to mourn.

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